KICKIN IT IN MOSCOW

There are some cities that you visit that differ vastly from your expectations. Moscow is not one of them. It is almost exactly what you thought it would be like. Cold, somber, uninviting with a hung over malignancy from the Soviet era. And that’s just the people. Nothing about Moscow is inviting. “Nyet, Nyet, Nyet” is a constant reply, whether you are asking to buy a chocolate bar, a subway ticket or a beer. Even the friendliest person we met wasn’t exactly a bleeding heart. We were struggling with directions so it was nice that she helped us out. She pointed us to our guesthouse with instructions that it was opposite a stature of an angel. We said thanks and then proceeded to not be able to see said angel. Our good Samaritan continues to watch us and sensing that we couldn’t make sense of her directions yells at us “Hey, it's by the angel, I told you it's by the angel”. Her tone was more banshee, less angel, vitriolic, scathing. Moscow is harsh.

Getting to Russia is such a process that you almost think that they don't want you there (which I think may be the case). To get a visa, you need to get an official invitation from the Department of Ministry. This can be done by contacting a travel agency, university or by getting a job in Russia. Alternatively, some hotels and hostels can also “invite” you to the country (for a small fee). We got our hotel in Moscow to issue us with an invitation. You then take that to the embassy where they make requests for imaginary documents. They also require everything in triplicate but don't tell you that on their website nor do they make mention of it on the application form. Despite this, the embassy doesn't have a photocopier that people can use. Me, “Can I use a photocopier to make more copies of this document”? Sour faced Embassy guy “We don’t have a photocopier”. Me “I can see three photocopiers right there”. Sour Faced Embassy Guy “Nyet”. (I see now he was just preparing me for the motherland). Finally, after running down to a family mart and using their photocopier/fax machine, my documents were in order and the visa was issued.

We flew to Russia on the national carrier, Aeroflot, which doesn’t entirely deserve its unpleasant reputation. Much to my chagrin, it wasn't a prop plane. There were not ashtrays in the armrests as I had hoped. There was no personal in-flight entertainment. Instead, there was a repeat screening of a 70s style soft-core spy film. Hoping for a horror show, I would have to give Aeroflot a solid B. Arriving in Moscow, we managed to cut our way through the swath of dodgy looking taxi-drivers trying to ensnare us at the airport and caught a bus to the nearest metro. The Moscow metro has many things going for it. Trains arrive every 2 minutes, an impressive feat. It also has many things going against it. The trains are so old and so rattly that conversation is nearly impossible. You are so far underground that you get a true appreciation of how many of the subways also doubled as Cold War air-raid shelters. Some of the early stations are elaborate affairs, which were worth a trip just to admire the Soviet architecture, where you can still play spot the hammer and sickle.

Coming out of the subway in Moscow seemed to take forever.

The convoluted immigration process didn’t stop once you hit Russia. Once in Russia, you are supposed to register in every city you were spending three or more days in days. There are three options. You can take your chances and live on the edge, hoping that the infamously over-zealous police didn’t pick you up. If you're darker skinned, don't even think about it. The Russian police are famous for their overt displays of racism, especially towards people who might look like they come from Central Asia. Another option is that you can go to the local registration office yourself and be prepared to waste a day, while trying to obtain documents that no one has ever heard of before in a bid to get registered. Luckily, for us, the third option was that your hotel could do the registration process for you (for another small fee), thus saving a potential wasted day or a change of money via a bribe.  

On our first day in Moscow, we took to the streets, making our way to the Red Square. The city is simultaneously in decay while showing signs of growth. Old school ladas roamed the streets, taking me back to childhood jokes. 

Q: Why do Ladas have heaters in their back window A: To keep your hands warm when you're pushing them. I didn't see too many broken down on the side of the road or an over-abundance of car repair centres so maybe Ladas are more reliable than they get credit for. 

Apart from the Cyrillic writing, Moscow could be any other depressed looking city in the world. McDonalds have made it there (they did actually make it in to Russia before communism fell), Starbucks is there. People look hassled, mostly keeping to themselves, walking quickly, head down. We passed the occasional church and quiet cafes before we make it to Red Square, the spiritual as well as historic heart of Moscow (some might say all of Russia). We weren’t alone. Crowds were here, taking in the sights. Several bridal parties were dancing in the square with their official photographers competing with tourists for the pictures. Red Square is synonymous with communism in many western minds, used in the regular, massive Soviet military displays that were meant to intimidate during the Cold War. It is an impressive expanse, flanked by buildings of significance. 

Red Square. Gum Department Store is on the left, the Kremlin and Lenin's mausoleum on the right and St Basil's right in front.

When you enter through Resurrection Gate, to your right lies the impressive State Historical Museum, a red brick, baroque building that is home to millions of items of interest from Soviet, Tsarist and eras long before. On the left side is the GUM department store, the flagship store in the country during communism, a store that unlike most in the country was not plagued by shortages of consumer goods. This meant that there were often long queues of people waiting to get in that often extended all the way across Red Square. Opposite GUM is Lenin's mausoleum and behind that lies the Kremlin, the fortress of ancient Moscow, home to the tsars, headquarters of the Soviets and currently maintained as the presidential suite of the current regimes. The surprising thing for me about the Kremlin was that several churches from the tsarist era were maintained on the grounds. I was surprised because I assumed that the Soviets would have done away with these vestiges of tsarism. It's true that they weren't in great condition, decrepit and dilapidated, used for other purposes than worship. But they still remain and some effort has gone into their repair.

Golden domes of the Church of the Disposition of the Robe, in the Kremlin.

The true star of Red Square is St Basils Cathedral, which stands opposite of the State Historical Museum. St Basils dominates the skyline and is an icon of Moscow that dates to the 15th Century. It is also an oddity in that "nothing like it can be found in the entire millennium of Byzantine tradition from the fifth to the fifteenth century". The church, designed as a flame rising from a bonfire, is surprisingly small inside, made out of 10 different churches. Legend has it that Ivan the Terrible, the tsar who ordered its construction, blinded the architect Postnik Yakolev so that he would be unable to design anything as beautiful again. In fact, Yakovlev continued to work in Ivan's service, designing the chapel over the grave of St Basil's that was built several years after Ivan died.  St Basils has been threatened several times in its history. Napoleon lit fuses to try and blow it up on his departure from the Russian capital in 1812 (the fuses were dampened by a sudden rainstorm). It was also under threat of removal during the Soviet era. After Lenin's death, thoughts were entertained of destroying the cathedral, as it became an obstacle for urban redesign. Lazar Koganovitch, Moscow party boss, suggested removing the church, even going as far as removing a model of it from a mock-up Red Square. Thankfully, Stalin showed some compassion and objected to its destruction with the famous quote "Lazar, put it back".

St Basil's.

Stalin wasn't as kind to all of Moscow's churches. The orthodox world's largest church, the Church of Christ the Saviour, was condemned in 1931, dynamited initially to clear the way for a Lenin memorial before eventually becoming the world's largest outdoor swimming pool. It was remade in the 1990s, with the new church built closely following the original external design of the church, although there were changes done to the interior design. Russia's largest cathedral, it is an impressive sight, both inside and out. It stands about 103 metres tall and can hold about 10,000 people. Inside, the ceiling and the walls are adorned with bright frescoes that show both religious and historical events. The original church was dedicated to the victory over Napoleon, meaning that some of the frescoes commemorate figures and scenes from 1812. The Orthodox churches always surprise me with their iconography. It sometimes seems almost paganist, with their focus on the Saints and their relics. Away from the main hall were shops where you can buy icons, crosses, photographs, bibles and other religious paraphernalia.

Church of Christ the Saviour

For something a little different, we made a trip to Novodevichy Cemetery, which made for an interesting hour-long diversion. This was the first time that a cemetery had made it into an overseas itinerary (my wife is a big fan of visiting graveyards throughout New Zealand). Novodevichy was, and still is, the celebrity cemetery, where a who's who of Russian authors, musicians, playwrights, poets, cosmonauts, actors, scientists and political leaders came to be interned. Notables include Anton Chekhov, Boris Yeltsin, Nikita Khruschchev and Gogol who are all buried here. The headstones were often intricate and ornate, with huge sculptures. Unfortunately, the writing was all in Cyrillic so while the several busloads of interested Russians could follow the maps to find their favourites, the four of us were left guessing, without being able to find out who was who. We were still able to enjoy the over the top sculptures as well as the ambience of the cemetery, which has turned into a macabre tourist attraction of some note. 

Sure these people are famous but not sure who they are.

Novodevichy Cemetery is found right beside Novodevichy Convent, of which it is an extension. The convent was founded in 1524 by Tsar Vasily III. It served two functions; as a convent and also as a fortress, which marked Moscow's southern edge. After the revolution, Novodevichy's churches were closed and in 1922 it was turned into a museum. This spared it from a worse fate until the cathedral was returned to the Russian Orthodox Church in 1945 as a reward for backing the war effort. A religious function has been restored to the convent but nuns still keep a low profile. The convent has several sumptuous churches on its ground, with tall, graceful bell towers. They are often adorned with the golden onion domes so characteristic of Russian Orthodox churches. Candlelight illuminates the interior of the cathedrals and alters, given the many icons and paintings an eerie feel. The Orthodox Church is undergoing somewhat of a revival in post-communist Russia so the convent attracts many worshippers, meaning that you did feel as if you were disturbing prayer at time. There was one lady with a small child who we seemed to be following, who lit candles at several places around the complex and was very fervent in her prayer. I felt bad as a tourist in her place of worship. Afterwards, you can contemplate what you’ve witnessed with a stroll around a small lake, where vendors sell Matryoshka dolls and watercolours among other souvenirs.

Looking back towards Novodevichy Convent

No trip to Russia would be complete without a round or two of vodka. We had our first round in a bar near the Kremlin. Vodka in Russia seemed to be much smoother than vodka I had had at home. This is just as well because you get a glass of vodka that resembles a beer mug more than a shot glass. It’s intimidating seeing that drink arrive but it goes down smoothly. Now I have more understanding of how characters in Dostoevsky’s novels can consume vast amounts of vodka, drinking it as I would drink beer. It was during this vodka-drinking contest that we noticed the most overt display of xenophobia. We were enjoying (if that’s not too strong a word) our beverages when we saw this guy stop. I would say he was a skinhead, maybe even a neo-Nazi, given his dress sense and hair cut. The object of his attention was a group of African students. He stood staring at them for 10 minutes, muttering to himself before making himself so enraged that he stormed off, kicking a chair and shouting something. I have never seen anyone appear so angry at the sight of a group of foreigners that were keeping to themselves, not harming anyone. This behaviour appalled me, not that is exclusively Russian. Racially motivated crimes and bigotry occur in every country in the world. What it can be is an allegory for the sense of unwelcomeness I felt at times in Russia. I was concerned by it but on the other hand, I was secretly pleased by it. Nowadays, travel often seems all too easy. Tourists can turn up to a country, be picked up at the airport, enter a resort and leave a week later without actually leaving the confines of their resort during that time. Even if they do, they often only see the tourist sites, dealing with people directly involved in tourism. I liked how Russia put up a middle finger to tourists and said that you want to come to my country, you can come on my terms. Take it or leave it. It seemed real, gritty which is how Moscow is.